Friends

  Mostly, my children have been very happy here.

  Do you remember hanging out with your best friends when you were eight?  It happened in that idyllic neighborhood we all shared in our collective unconscious.  You just ran next door to see if they were home, and they always were.  It was the coolest thing - you could hang out in your fort, making the rules of your secret society, planning world domination, or planning how you would build a robot suit with real working arms for halloween, or what you would do when you had earned a million dollars.

  Do you also remember when your only friend was a pet?  There was a little girl who lived next door, but she didn't want to play with you.  Your older brothers had been mean to you all morning, and even though your father told you he thought you were wonderful, it didn't matter.  Well, at least the cat seemed to appreciate you.

  One of the challenges we face as parents is living vicariously through our children - we do it all too easily.  It's easy when things are wonderful, but I, at least, always want to cushion the hard landings a little too much.  Childhood can be idyllic, but it can also be very, very hard.  Were you a 7th grade girl?  Did the kid you thought was your friend ever turn and belt you in the gut?

Each of my children has had idyllic moments and hard ones here.
Will has been made fun of by kids he wanted to be friends with.  He also found the friends above.
Jack got punched in the eye, but also has been included with the older kids.
Mary had the day I described above, but on another day she played dolls with an older girl.
Annie - well, she got put to bed when she didn't want to go.  Talk about betrayal!

  I know that these experiences are part of what shapes them into real people - what will give them understanding and compassion when they are older - but it is hard to watch them suffer the 'slings and arrows of outrageous fortune'.  They will survive.  And they will have those scars we all feel, and the memories we all savor.