Return

We're back in the States for 3 months.  While there are many emotions and thoughts associated with this, there are some pretty amusing bits, too.  AE has been gone for a significant percentage of her remembered life:

Two days ago, in a handicapped bathroom stall at a rest stop:

AE: There's....so....much....room..!  Why?

Laura: it's for people who are in wheelchairs.

AE: one person?  or a whole family?

This morning:

AE: Mom, what's a dishwasher?

Laura: .....



It's also quiet.  Well, when the kids are outside.  So quiet I can hear my ears ringing - something I haven't heard in a long time.

More Significant

"...count others more significant than yourselves."

Another version of the same full phrase is: "Do not act out of selfish ambition or conceit, but with humility think of others as being better than yourselves."

It's not at all difficult to understand the meaning of this instruction.  The difficulty lies in application.

The first half seems straightforward.  "Hey, I'm not particularly selfish, nor conceited and I left ambition back a couple of decades in the past...".  Of course, if the comparison for 'selfish' is the society around us... let's not push too hard here or I might get squeamish.

The second half begins to show us the real depths.  If that's the bar, I'm going to fall pretty short.  Especially in an age pursuing self-esteem and self-actualization, this is an anathema, no?  I could elaborate on how self-esteem and self-actualization are best pursued through self-less-ness, but I'm interested in another facet.

 It's hard to imagine what it might be like if we really "considered others as better". So what if we lower the bar? Let's just begin with considering other as equal to ourselves.  I'm not talking about "All mean are created equal ...  are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights."  We could launch from there into politics and geopolitical power-plays.  No, let's just stick with the day-to-day stuff:

When there's conflict over the best path to pursue.
When there's a difference of opinion.
When we - just - want - different - things.
Who wins?

Yes, sometimes we can find win-win scenarios.  And the very best leaders and politicians aim for that.  But it is misleading (at best!) to pretend that's always possible.  It's not.  So.  Who wins?

If we are really equal, if we both really have equal 'claim' to the outcome: do I push for my desire? Do I permit what I think is a less-than-perfect decision?  Do I have the humility to recognize that not only may I be wrong, but I am, frequently enough, that someone else's ideas deserve to be tried?

Actually putting that one into practice is pretty hard.  And it's only the low bar.  Now I begin to see the real measurements of 'selfish ambition or conceit'.   The flip side of, "If you want to know what to do, look at what you believe" is, "If you want to know what you believe, look at what you do."  You could as easily say, "If you want to know who you are, look at how you behave."

This can go down layer after layer.  Is there some limit? I don't know.  I feel like I will never ever ever 'get there'.  But I can start walking, and I can lean on grace, so there's hope.

Security

Celebrating March 27th, full house, so we were on benches outside.

   Security isn't bad, but it is taken seriously by our company, and by the government, for which we're grateful.  After a few events in the autumn, the government stationed police at our front gate.  Recently there'd been talk of withdrawing them, but then about ten days ago another incident has eliminated all such discussion.

   Our company rules vary with the general assessment of threat, but have officially, since the fall, been a bit limiting.  Not too bad, but we generally adhere to them fairly carefully.

Our attendants.

Fun

Sorry for the hiatus - I'd been a bit under the weather for a while.  Now feeling better.

Preparing for the tandem quidditch world finals.

Everything's up in the air.

M's business card

Today's Collage

Yes.  That's cheese.  I remember what it looks like, but it'd been a while.

The highest potassium I have ever seen in a living person.

Our front stoop's inhabitants.

No title redux

See my April 10, 2015 post for context.

Yellow boat on the Padma (Ganges) river.  not at all related to my post.

So.  I still struggle with the role money plays here.  I understand that money is the currency of relationship and is the sign - the very palpable sign - of the depth of relationship.  I don't particularly like it.   

  Here is a conversation I had recently with someone I consider a friend and whom I truly trust.  As a mark of that trust, when I became aware of a transient need for a significant sum of money, I offered to help.*

somewhat freely translated:

Fr: So, if you need that money back, I can get it to you tomorrow.

Me: But you haven't actually used it yet, right?

Fr: That's true.  It's just sitting in my account.  

Me: You still need it, no?

Fr: Well, yes.  But I told you I would return it before now.

Me: Well, then keep it for the moment.  I trust you completely.

Fr: I told my wife what you did for us.  She said, "Wow, he must really love you to lend to us."  I told her, yes, I think he does - he really loves us.  

Me: Well, I have faith in you!

Fr: Well, that's all fine and good, but there are many people I know who would never do this.  Or if they did, they'd charge me interest.  This is different.

It still sounds strange in my ears that this is a sign that I love them, but that is what it communicates in this culture.  As a mark of my adjustment, this conversation began seeming natural to me.  What I really found interesting, though, was some of the words that came up - that in Bangla are inextricably linked: faith and trust are the same word, and to love someone implicitly means you trust them completely.  

*I've known him for five years, and the sum involved was $226.  It was important to me that I wasn't asked for the money - I was made aware of the need but clearly without expectation.

Cardboard Again

Jack's taken to origami 

Jack memorized the Jabberwocky for school
Mary tried on his mask.

For portable convenience.  I mean, who has time for anything else?

Kitten Shot #2

This youngster spent the day with me in clinic.  The cat that looked at me a few weeks ago from the exam table and said. "What? This is my bed!" is a mother and left her kitten with me so she could get  a few things done.

She used to deliver her litters in a cabinet in the women's operating theatre locker room, until she was evicted.  Then she was in the maternity ward for a while (quite appropriate) and now my clinic is daycare.  It's a tough life as a single working mother.

One of the housekeeping staff recently listed her work duties:

Linen maintenance and washing
Floor mopping
trash removal
table cleaning
bed-making
cat removal.

Anecdotes

Always be prepared to ...  in this case, use a piece of paper towel to clean a switch.

First nice warm sunny day in a while, so all the patients' family members decided to do the washing.

Gratuitous lego picture.  I was just pretty impressed.  Incidentally, don't mess with Santa Claus - he looks pretty tough inside that APU.

Our children call this, "The Attack Faucet" because as you turn it it does nothing..nothing...nothing..then....WHAM - you get wet.

Today I was thinking of things I was grateful for:

1. All of you.

2. A hot water heater.  I get about 2 minutes less hot water than I would like, but it's enough to complete a shower plus about 30 seconds.

3. Two days in a row off.

4. Bangladesh.

5. Laura

6. A good Friend.

7. Novels.  Just finished two entertaining and easy-reading novels.  It'd been a while.  

Sisters

Left: Mom.  Right: Aunt Mopsy

My beloved aunt Mopsy passed away yesterday.  I am so far away.
I miss her so much.